Answering Objections to Islam · Women & Family
Q 4:34 and the Word Daraba
In short
- 1.The Arabic word in question carries a wide range of meanings, including to separate from and to set forth.
- 2.The Prophet (SAW) never struck a woman — his practice sets the limit on how the verse can be understood.
- 3.Classical jurists restricted it to something that causes no injury, leaves no mark, and never touches the face.
The claim being examined
Q 4:34 is read as divine permission for husbands to beat their wives.
The Islamic position
The verse sets out a step-by-step, restricted process for one serious situation: a marriage breaking down through open defiance. And the Prophet's (SAW) own conduct is what settles how it is read — he never struck a woman, and he said the best men are the best to their wives.
Analysis
Al-Razi and al-Shafi'i both treat the third step as disliked and hedged around with conditions. Modern scholars including Khaled Abou El Fadl and Laleh Bakhtiar argue the word means to separate — to leave — pointing to the same Arabic root used in Q 2:273 for travelling through the land. Whichever meaning you prefer, the principle is settled and is the strongest thing to say: the Prophet (SAW) is the living explanation of the Qur'an. Aisha (RA) reported he never struck a servant or a woman in his life. Whatever the verse permits, his practice is the ceiling — and he never went near it.
From the Qur'an
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ
waʿāshirūhunna bil-maʿrūfi
Live with them in kindness.
وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً ۚ
wajaʿala baynakum mawaddatan waraḥmatan
He placed between you affection and mercy.
From the Bible
Greek
Women should remain silent in the churches; it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in church.
Read it in their BibleFrom the Sunnah
Aisha: the Messenger of Allah never struck a servant or a woman.
The best of you are those best to their wives.
Sources
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